After spending almost half an hour searching for a bike pump in my family’s “toolbox” (actually a three-tiered set of plastic drawers, filled with more random miscelania than tools) I decided to take on the task of sorting it out. Instead of trying to put my experience into words, I’ve just compiled a list of some of the things I found:
- over 30 Allen keys
- 15 screwdrivers, mostly broken
- 3 broken hammers
- An entire unraveled roll of masking tape
- The wheel from a long-dead computer desk
- lots of painting equipment (not technically tools)
- knitting needles, children’s toys and stationary (definately not tools)
- mountains of mixed screws, nails, washers and nuts
- an unpleasant sticky residue at the bottom of each drawer.
What sort of family needs more than 30 Allen keys? No family, that’s who. There’s only about 12 types. Any more than that is just showing off.
That picture is about half way through the sort - I’m trying to compress everything into the small toolbox on the far left. Yes, I’m sifting through piles of filthy old tools on my family’s kitchen table.
I was almost done when I came across this supposed “tool”. Far from being a handy DIY utensil, it looks like its only use is to kill another man in prison:
Well at least now when I want to shiv someone for using the last of the milk, I won’t have to waste time looking for a suitable weapon…
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